Ever have one line of a song stuck in your head???

So I have this song stuck in my head.  It's not even the whole song it is just one line and I have no idea what the rest of the song is.  I would love to post it but I can't until I know what it's called or even a few more of the lyrics.  There are lots of other things I wish I could tell you all but I am not stupid enough to post such personal stuff online here.  Even though most of you are people I don't even know.

How do you deal with Stress...

How do you deal with stress?  Me I make myself even more stressed.  I work myself so hard that I overstress and then burst.  When I go off I spend days alone in my room.  I have been stressed lately and actually the more I pushed myself to keep busy the less stressed I got.  It is the opposite of how it usually works with me.  I don't know what has been going on with me but hey it's all good in my book.  It gives me the strength to get through the days at work.

I have been pulling books in both the kids room and the adult non-fiction lately at work.  It is hard to keep track of where I left off in each room but they both need done like you wouldn't believe.  Monday one of the ladies that strictly does the cataloging of books is going to come back and try it out for a bit.  We don't think she will be able to manage it for that long.  It will take a little bit of work away from me for a little while so it's ok with me if she tries.  It will free up some time to actually pull more books from the adult non-fiction, even though we really need to work on pulling the rest of the kids room.

I don't know what else to talk about.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, then there is Black Friday, and then I have two days off before going back to work.  I am glad to have the time off I just wish we got paid for it.  I could use that two days worth of pay I will be missing.  I am ready to spend the next few days chowing down on turkey and reading, Clash of Kings here I come.

Do crazy dreams make me crazy!!!

So I have been having these really bizarre and crazy dreams lately.  One night I dreamed that I was attacked by a flock of birds (no I hadn't been watching The Birds...lol).  What freaked me out the most is it sounded so real.  I did later find out that the sound of the swing was the hinges on my door and the sound of the swarm of birds was the dog shaking with her stupid cone on.  It was so bizarre.

In another dream I was attacked by somebody and my best friend was attacked by somebody else.  We both fought off the crazy people.  I may not know what these dreams mean but they get crazier and crazier as the nights go by.  I'm almost afraid to go to sleep lately.  Because some of the dreams are things I wish would come true.  I won't tell you about those though because they are REALLY personal.

I just wish I knew why I was having these dreams and if some of them would come true.  But it doesn't matter.  It is said however that our dreams are the mirror to the soul.  I guess that means most of them will come true.  I just wish they would come true soon...lol.

It's late, I'm going to bed.  Goodnight! 

CRAZY, HECTIC ALMOST NORMAL LIFE

It's been a rough few days.  I just can't move past some things that are going on right now and I don't know what to do about them.  I wish I knew what the problem was so that I could fix it and we could all move on, but I don't know what the problem is at all.  See the thing is I have this friend who for some reason is not talking to me (actually I have a couple) and I miss her and her family like there is no tomorrow.  Last night I read some emails we had sent each other and it made me miss her even more.  As it turns out a lot of the things in the emails are coming true again and I really wish I could talk to her about them.  Not to mention I have her twins baby presents here and need to get them shipped so that the babies can actually fit in them.

Anyways, I depleted a little bit of my Christmas list last night at Wal-Mart and K-Mart.  I bought a few of the books I had on my list because they were cheap.  Needless to say I hate shopping but I love bookstores.  Anyways, yesterday was CRAZY.  I got up at 9 and spent an hour re-activating my phone so I could make some business calls.  Then I headed out to Chippewa and dropped off a hostess pack to Joel and picked up my 31 orders.  Then I headed to Melissa's house to drop off Lance and Briauna's birthday presents.  Then I hit the bank and Foodland and still made it to work by 11:15 which is still early.  I spent the day at work and kept busy that's for sure.  We had the first van in three days yesterday, had a whole bunch more donations to enter in the computer, and I was there alone (Liz was busy in the back) so I had to make all the calls and help everybody find what they needed.  Not to mention I had to enter more books.  It was crazy.  Then I went back to Chippewa and did my shopping for Usborne and most of what I bought was for Usborne actually.  I went off grid with 3 books and a movie, but the rest was all Usborne.


Today is going to be just as crazy because well it's me and Annette.  I am taking in about 5 books that will need to be entered.  The van will be big again because they are still catching up.  I can't wait till 3:30 when Annette leaves though because that is when all the easy work starts (I don't have to worry about fixing her mistakes and being called to the front to help her.  I have a lot of work to do in the back because people keep screwing up and not in a good way.  Well I'm off to start my crazy day off with a shower and possibly straightening my hair, if I have time.  I got a lot of Usborne work done last night so I don't have to worry about that again until tomorrow night, while I am up waiting for Breaking Dawn and Friday.  Booth on Saturday.  It's going to be a HECTIC weekend to say the least.

Breaking Dawn - midnight Thursday/Friday
Mel's for HPDH P2 and Ramona and Beezus - Friday
Booth - Saturday
Booth Prep - Thursday/Friday and Saturday

Like I said HECTIC.  I will honestly be ready for Sunday to come just so I can sleep or something.  Although I was thinking about checking out some of the indoor flea markets I know about and possibly starting to put up tables there but we'll see what happens on Saturday at the booth I may be too booked to do that.  Later

Are you talking to me yet?

I thought I was done being ignored.  But it turns out I'm not.  I will never stop being ignored. My friends ignore me, my family ignores me, and I ignore myself sometimes too.  When will it end.  Have I said something to my friends to have them block me and ignore me all of the sudden.  I mean sure I have a huge mouth and say things that I shouldn't but I can't think of anything that would make them just stop talking to me.  I just don't get it at all.  Maybe my true self has shown through too much and that is the issue.  But since they don't talk to me I don't have anybody to tell my every thought too.  Very few people would want to know my every thought and why I think that way.  There used to be only one person, now it seems there are none.  What to do?

I didn't really have anything else to say just had to get that out.

One and only

I have grown to love ADELE. She has so many songs that fit my emotions perfectly. "I dare you to let me be your one and only." The best line I have heard in a long time. I wish I could use that line on people but first of all anybody I would use it on is far away and it would kind of hard if they aren't nearby.

Anyways let's move on. Things are crazy. I have been making a plan to book as many parties and booths as I can this Christmas season. I have already decided when the last possible party date could be in order to have orders by Christmas...December 13th. I already have two booths and one party with another possible party and bookfair. Now if I could get at least two parties from each event I do my schedule will be beyond full and I will have to push dates into the new year. I will push myself to make this a viable second job for two reasons. I really need the money that will flow in and I love the books and want to continue being able to collect them and share them with others. I also have flyers in the makes for the Black Friday sale they will be having. The next few months are going to be crazy. I have a call to a Learning Center to make on Friday and plan to try picking up as much business as possible on Friday.

I have also started working out again and trying to cut back on the junk food. I want to fit in my size 4 and 6 pants again dang it. I mean sure I only went up to an 8 but I like the style of my 4's better...lol. Honestly I just want to feel healthy again like I did in Utah. My best time on the treadmill so far is 3 mile in one hour 12 minutes. I try to walk every day but as soon as I can get my hands on some Taebo videos I will walk ever other day and do Taebo the other days. A nice switch. If it weren't so expensive I would try to get my hands on P90X but it's outrageously pricey...lol.

I don't have much else to say so enjoy!

Is it a mistake...PROBABLY!!!

So this month I will finally have the money to pay off the last bill that is in collections.  I am super excited about that because it means I am down to 2 bills and I can start throwing all my extra cash at them.  One of the one's left go through automatically so I don't have to worry about it (it will be gone in May) so any extra cash I get I will be throwing towards the other one so I can get it paid off in May too.  What I don't throw at the second bill will go into hiding for a car. 

I am starting to realize how busy the next few weeks are going to be.  I am working almost full time at the library and I have two booths and a party lined up for Usborne.  I also have the possibility to get at least two parties from each of those booths and the party.  As well as a library co-worker who may have a party and may talk her boss into doing a bookfair.  I am still going to go and talk to Terry at Rochester Library about doing a bookfair and possible LFL.  It is going to be getting busy busy busy but I like it that way because it keeps me from being able to make the biggest mistake of my life again.

I am super excited for Breaking Dawn Part 1 next week.  I got Kaylin, her boyfriend Kody and myself tickets to the midnight showing.  We still have to make a plan but we'll see what happens.  In leiu of the movie I started rereading the book on Sunday night.  I forgot how good it was.  I was beyond tired and I was still up until 1:30 reading.  I was unable to get into any books for the last week so I'll glad I was able to just slip right into this one.

Work has been crazy.  Saturday and Monday there was no heat whatsoever.  I'm really hoping that he came last night to fix it or comes first thing this morning to fix it.  Mainly because I don't have anything to keep myself busy and warm today except work on the kids room and it's too cold to let anybody back there let alone spend hours working back there.  I guess I could organize the non-fiction section out front...it's always a mess.

Now onto the mistake part.  I have been talking to a few people who have screwed me over time and time again.  All of them want to get together.  I am actually glad that this is the busy season for Usborne so that I can put it off.  I haven't even decided if talking to said people is a mistake or not but it probably is in the long run.  I have found that in the last oh I don't know three or four years I have become less trusting of people, they always seem to let me down and I'm done.  I can't go on being the naive girl I was four years ago so I hold people who have screwed me at arms length and I should keep them there and never talk to them again but I don't.  It's not in my nature.  So again and again I let them back in and get screwed again.

Oh and before I forget the daily walking is back on schedule.  I didn't get to walk Friday to yesterday but it starts back up again tonight.  Especially if today goes the way I think it will and I have a ton of frustration to walk off.  Let me just say that my co-workers are idiots and I can't believe they have survived this long.  The good thing is there is no van today so I won't have to deal with that.  I think that is all I had for today.  Later!