I have so many thoughts and feelings going on in my head. I want to put them all down and get it all out but I can't find the exact words. All I can say is I feel alone but I am surrounded by people all the time. Well almost all the time. I have gone on dates recently...one guy stood me up, however my aunt says he was sick. Don't know how much I believe that. But I didn't really want to go out with him in the first place. Another guy I talked with for a few weeks and finally went out almost three weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since, no matter how much I try to start a conversation with him. What is it with guys? I really thought the one date went really good and we both had fun unless he lied when he said that. That wouldn't surprise me.
I am struggling to know what to do at work as well. I am ready to move onto something better. Maybe I am just ready to move somewhere better. I have been ready to move elsewhere since I got back. I am reverting back to the person I was before moving to Utah. I am finally out of debt (well almost). I am down to one bill. I have gained all the weight I had lost and then some. I was hoping to be moving out of here next year and somewhere warm year round. I was however offered the head librarian position if I want it. I don't know that I can stand the people or the position or this place much longer. I just don't know what to do anymore and I wish I did.
My friends are too busy to bother talking to me or too far away. So I work myself to death and let it all fester inside. I don't know how better to explain it or what else to say so I am going to leave it at that.
