Be Not Nobody!!!

• So lately my life has been pretty dang screwed up. I don't know what to say except that when trials get dropped in my lap it isn't one at a time but four or five at a time. I am slowly making it through all of my trials. I will say that music and GLEE have helped me through the last couple weeks. I don't know what I would do without music and GLEE.
• On that note...when I first heard about it GLEE sounded like it would be completely and utterly lame. Boy was I wrong. Debbie happened to have the GLEE Vol I. soundtrack and we listened to it almost every time we were in her car. I fell in love with the music and the singers. So when I got home to PA I started watching the episodes...OMG!!! I will definitely be getting the Seasons on DVD and watching the second season come fall. I also want all the music...I have been going a bit crazy with the youtube videos from GLEE on facebook...lol. I think I have listened to their regionals video on my facebook links like 500 times in the last couple days.
• I have applied everywhere that I can job wise so now I'm just waiting to hear back from all the places. I am kind of hoping to get a job at Wal-Mart and somewhere else. I have to keep myself busy this summer so that I can make lots of money. Maybe I will get a job at AppleBee's or the Hot Dog Shoppe. I want to be able to get myself a car and be living near the beach come October or November. So two jobs it is all summer in order to do that.
• At least there are only a few major things I plan to do this summer and they aren't until August so I should be good. Those things are the Mattocks and Ketcham reunions (August 1 and August 7) and then the trip down to Myrtle Beach with the family. Aunt Brenda, Aunt Kim, Josh, Grammie, and Uncle David are all coming too. Then camping over Labor Day weekend (well most likely...I haven't decided yet).
• It should be a crazy and extremely FUN summer. Lots of hanging out with Sirena too. From the sounds of it every Tuesday will be Boardman night. Every Tuesday at Movies 8 is $1 movies all day...if there are good movies playing it is totally worth spending the day in Boardman just chilling. Hopefully I will get to hit a Pirates game or two and maybe some swimming and other fun stuff as well.
• That's about all I have to say for now. Update you again real soon.

Everything happens for a reason!!!!

• This past week I have had the chance to actually sit back and figure out where my life went wrong. I realized that the path my life has gone down was one that I had to follow. However, I have also realized that when something goes wrong in my life I always wind up back at home. It is a place that I feel safe and know I can have the space to work my issues out.
• A lot of people may hate the heat and the humidity but I love it. I live for it in fact. I will end up in a place that is warm and humid year round. If it is on the beach that makes it better in the long run but it isn't a stipulation.
• I have been home less than a week and I already know exactly where my life will go next. There is a lot I want out of my life and I am going to work my butt off to achieve all my goals. I am going to spend the summer working and paying off the last couple bills. I'm going to get myself my own car and insurance. I will have the money to start a savings account (in other words my emergency fund). I am going to work my butt off in order to pay off my bills this summer and make it easier on myself to get a place of my own elsewhere when the summer is over.
• My goal is to have a truck or car in the next month. I should be down to just the First Financial Bank by the end of August and that should be half gone as well. I am hoping to have a few hundred at least in a savings account. I am going to budget my money every month from now on and stick to that budget. I learned a lot with Deb's help and I am going to keep all those things in mind as I continue down the road of being debt free. At the end of August I will be able to get a place of my own and actually enjoy my life. Maybe head back to school again.
• Everything happens for a reason. My life is full of odd things that happen for a reason. I don't regret any of them and I don't enjoy all of them but I do need all of them. I wouldn't change a thing in my life. There are people in my life that I could never forget and I love them for everything they have done for me. Thanks to everybody who has been a major part of my life. You will always have a place in my heart y'all.

OH WHAT FUN!!!!

• So I haven't had the chance to update this blog in forever because a lot has happened. I'm not going to go into everything here but most of the people who read this know most of what has happened so we'll leave it at that for now. I don't even remember the last time I updated but I think it was Memorial Day so we'll start with after that.
• Well Tuesday and Wednesday I went to base to get paperwork and appointments out of the way. Thursday was my birthday so there was a small party. It was a fun night...the day wasn't all that great but I really enjoyed the evening. It was the first time I had, had a party in like forever. Deb and her family came and Amanda and the boys came. I couldn't have asked for more.
• Friday I left Salt Lake City at noon-ish and spent the day in airports going to Biloxi, Mississippi to see my Best Friend in the whole world. I had the most relaxing weekend I could ever imagine...I fell in love with Mississippi and would love to live there one day. Anyways, instead of getting there at 9 something my flight didn't get in until almost 11 and I was beat. So when we got back to his apartment I fell asleep quickly.
• Saturday we got up early, Ben made breakfast and we drove to New Orleans. We explored the World War II museum. Then we headed to the French Quarters. I loved New Orleans as well. We had lunch there as well...amazing shrimp ceasar salad. We drove back to Biloxi and we were both tired so we took a short nap. When we went out again we headed to Ocean Springs where we hit the BEST BBQ place I have ever been. If you ever go to Biloxi/Gulfport/Ocean Springs, MS you have got to visit The Shed. I'm not kidding the absolute best BBQ food ever. After that we hit a pier in Ocean Springs...so peaceful. We visited a lighthouse on the way home. At home again we changed and went out to the Hard Rock and another casino...I lost two dollars on the slots which wasn't bad at all.
• Sunday we got up and ready. Then we just went for a drive. It was awesome. We stopped and waded in the water before going to lunch. After lunch we went and got ready for some swimming. We spent about an hour at the beach and in the water before it started raining. Ben had to do some studying with friends for a test the next day...so I just kind of chilled. He had to get something at Wal-Mart so I went along and grabbed a notebook. While the three guys studied I wrote and read. When they finished studying Ben and I ate and then sat back and watched The Dark Crystal. I had never seen it and loved it. We spent the rest of the night talking and hanging out.
• Monday he was at PT and school so I just spent the day relaxing until I had to get to the airport. I didn't want to leave I had fallen in love with Mississippi. I spent the day reading, writing and I even went to the beach for a few minutes...the beach alone is not fun at all. I almost did miss my flight due to traffic being backed up for some unknown reason.
• I got back to Utah and started realizing that I needed to come back to Pennsylvania for the summer. So I packed up and headed to Deb's for the week. Saturday morning I left Salt Lake City again. I landed in Cleveland at 6:30 -ish and just kinda chilled that night. Sunday I spent the day in the sun and can't wait to do it again. Monday I just kind of hung out. Went to Wal-Mart and last night Sirena and I headed to Boardman for our first Boardman movie trip. We saw Nightmare on Elm Street and both loved it.
• Today I was going to hang out in the sun again but it wound up being icky and rainy. Sirena came over at around 1 and we hung out for a while watching movies and talking. I organized my stuff in the living room a bit. Next Monday and Tuesday my room will be cleaned out so that all the craft stuff is downstairs and my bed can go back in there. So for now I am living in the living room and basement...lol.
• Tomorrow I am hoping it will be a lot warmer and no rain so that I can go out and relax in the sun. Got to get me some sun on my legs...they are whiter than paper...kinda sad. I'm gonna have to find me some tanning oil for them...then take my book out and just chill. I'm going to start working out tomorrow as well I think. I need to do something to keep in shape at least.
• So that is how my crazy life has gone the past few weeks. I can't believe it is almost the 4th of July already. I look forward to a summer of working, hanging out, camping and family reunions. I look forward to the beach with everybody in August and the Canfield Fair in September. Oh what fun summers in Pennsylvania/Ohio bring. Later all!!!

• What a fun day. I had the house all to myself today. It was so nice to be in the silence...every once in a while it is nice to be alone and in silence. It is actually my favorite. Maybe that is why I am such a night owl...it is the most peaceful time of the day for me. Anyways, I spent most of the day relaxing in the sun. I woke up at 9:30 laid there till around 10 and then went right outside. I stayed out there till almost 4 pm. I just laid in the grass and read and took in the beauty and sun.
• I also caught up on my Army Wives and One Tree Hill. I almost had a stupid asthma attack at the end of the One Tree Hill Season Finale which I just finished. Now to finish catching up on Army Wives...I was only behind by like two episodes so after this one I'm watching now I have one more...then I have to wait for the hiatus to be over.
• I can't wait for tomorrow to be over. There are so many errands to do it isn't even funny. Tammy and I have to return books and movies to 3 different libraries...Davis County, Weber County and the Air Force base. I have a doctor's appointment at 3:30. I also have to go to Wal-Mart and get some things that I will need for my weekend trip to Mississippi. Namely I need shorts and all that fun stuff.
• I can't wait for this weekend. Thursday is my birthday which I hope nobody remembers and if they do I don't want it to be made into a big deal. In my opinion it is just another day and it will most likely always be that way. But see that's the thing I may be a year older but does anybody ever actually feel older. I know I am a very pessimistic person and if you don't like it I don't care...I won't be changing for you...lol.
• Anyways, Friday afternoon I leave to visit my best friend of all times in Mississippi for the weekend. I am so excited to see his favorite places down there and take lots of pictures. There are two people I really want to see on my birthday and since I can't see one I will settle for this one. I haven't seen Ben in almost 4 years. It is so freaking crazy...but we have kept in contact...in other words I email him once a week and he writes back when he gets the chance. You know how guys are. Anyways, it is the best birthday present I could possibly imagine to see Ben before I leave for Germany and don't see him for another 4 years (I hope that isn't true).
• Well as you can see I had a lot on my mind today and maybe just maybe I will be able to keep up with this blog a lot better. There are times (yes spans of months) when I have nothing of real interest to post. Then there are times when my mind doesn't want to shut up. This is one of those times which will make everybody who actually goes through and reads these happy.

AT LAST!!!!

• Today for the first time in a while I sat down and started writing. I don't know what it was that started me to writing again but it is nice to put pen to paper and put my thoughts down in story form. I will say that I didn't pay as close attention in sacrament as I should have but when ideas come to me I have to get them down on paper. I love the feeling of writing something whether it is interesting or not. I can't wait to get all these crazy thoughts out of my head and get all the stories down on paper.

• I know I haven't done very well keeping this blog up but hopefully that will change. I will maybe start posting some of my poems or stories. You never know what will happen with this blog. So I love I Dream of Jeannie. Jeannie is hilarious...I also love Samantha from BeWitched. Random thought I know but I am watching I Dream of Jeannie right now. Oh the calamities that happen to them.

• Well like I said that is all I have for now but I will try to update more often. Promise!!!!

• So why I didn't post this while everything was fresh in my mind yesterday I don't know...but I didn't so I'm sure I will miss something I wanted to update about...lol. Anyways, there isn't much to say, well there is but not a lot I want to go on about on here. I do want to say that on facebook I keep reading about how everybody is getting so much freaking older and it is making me feel extremely old myself. I mean sure I'm only going to be 26 but it feels really old to me lately and I don't know why. Not that I'm complaining because I'm not...I just wish everybody would stop aging so that I wouldn't feel so old for pete's sake.

• I finally got the last of my paperwork back. I just have to find a computer to scan it into so that I can get it sent off to Tim in Germany and he can finish it all up. That means I should be over there shortly. Which I have my reserves about but I'll deal with them. I may not like it in Germany all that much but I will get over it and make the best of the time I have there. Don't be surprised when 100's of pictures start showing up on Facebook of nothing but cool looking buildings and flowers and suck...lol. But by now everybody who is reading this should know that I am majorly into taking pictures of things I think are cool looking.

• Usually I write something on here about reading a lot or doing a lot of crafts but lately I haven't been into that at all. I did finish Matthew's blanket and did two fleece tie blankets. Now I just have to get them all sent off before I head to Germany. I will most likely send them all off at the beginning of June...to all those who have to wait sorry they are coming.

• So I went to Anthony (my brother in laws) High School Graduation yesterday afternoon. Wow, what a difference from mine. But it kind of took me back to mine and of Mikie's parents as his diploma was handed to them. I almost cried. I was reminded that instead of going to one of the many parties to choose from afterwards Rena and I went to see one of the Fast and the Furious movies (can't remember which one but I think it was Tokyo Drift...lol). Even the colors were similar...we were the Tigers (black and orange...obviously) they were the Warriors (black and red). I got kind of confused because none of them were in alphabetical order...it was all guys on one side and girls on the other in semi alphabetical order. Let's just say it was really really weird. I remember standing on the street outside the Middle School afterwards in search of all my friends for this picture. Jess, Emily, me and Rena were really close Senior Year. It was a year of lots of rides home...lol.
• Anyways, like I was saying before I got on the Graduation rant I haven't been able to get into my crafty, reading, creative moods. I haven't written much of anything, did many crafts (blankets) or read much. I have been getting back into the book reading again recently. It all takes the right book or moment to get in the right frame of mind to do anything. But then again I have been spending a lot of time going to work with Tammy while she was doing Census work. It got me out of the house most days which is always good.

• The next few days are supposed to be really nice so my plan is to be out in the sun as much as possible. Got to get me a slight tan so I don't burn the first time I spend a lot of time in the sun. That would be a pain. I enjoy the sun...especially in the summer when my allergies aren't too bad. Spring is the worst for allergies so I tend to stay inside more often but now it is almost Summer and I am ready for sunshine. The one thing about Utah is it may be Spring but it is still snowing when you least expect it. Not major snow but snow none the less. Oh well Utah is pretty much a lot of mountains so it is understandable.

• Let me just say that I really can't believe this weekend is Memorial Day weekend. Where did the time go. I also can't believe my birthday is a week from tomorrow. Rena's is what Monday, Riley's is Sunday I believe. There are too many birthday's at the end of May and the beginning of June for me to keep track of dates. But HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Kimber, Debbie, Eric, Anthony, Rena, and Riley in May...sorry if it's late. Also in June HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Me, Grandma Mattocks, Mel, Eric, Uncle Greg, Cassie, and Bub. I'm sure I missed people in those birthday lists but if I did and you noticed Happy Birthday to you as well...lol...sorry. Hope everybody has/had a great day on their birthday's. But like I said I think we should ban ages. They are just a number and not important. It is just another day on the calendar in a year that goes by way way too fast.

• Hope you are all happy now...I had to come up with all kinds of crazy stuff for this entry but if it gets everybody off my back about updating whatever...lol...enjoy. More when something interesting happens...sorry.

Killing me softly...

• Well while I was hoping to get this blog updated more often it has been more difficult than usual. Shortly after my last post my laptop up and died on me. So now I am working from Tammy's desktop which means I have to go all the way from the basement to the top floor of the house just to update anything online. It sucks and I tend to forget to update my post by the time I am going back to bed. So that is why it has been so long since I updated. I will do better once I either have a computer of my own again or I get to Germany. Most likely when I get to Germany as I believe it will come first...lol.
• Not much has happened. I have done good at steering clear of people who have been sick and it finally caught up with me. Recently both Anthony and Chels were sick and now Tammy, Andrea, Scott and I seem to have what Chels had. I certainly hope it isn't as bad as her's because she had strep. But we are all sick now. Lucas and Matthew both had RSV a couple weeks ago and are finally feeling better too. Wow, just about everybody has been sick lately.
• Andrea and I finished off the Gilmore Girls series...between the two of us we have all seven seasons. She has 2,3,4,and 5 while I have 1,3,6, and 7. We are going to try and copy them for each other and I have them all on my hard drive. I also bought both seasons of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Now if I could just get seasons 2 through 4 of the show Wildfire and I will have 4 complete TV series. I know there is really no reason to post that because nobody really cares but it popped into my head so I wrote it in.
• Tim is coming home for a visit April 2nd to the 16th. There are already lots of plans. The 3rd we will head to Idaho. The 4th is General Conference and Easter. The 5th is Scott's birthday. The 8th I have my final doctor's appointment. The next weekend we will most likely be going down to the Zion's National Park area for camping and hiking which will sure be lots of fun with my asthma but I will deal with it as best I can. Who knows what else we will fit in there as well.
• I don't think I have much else to talk about right now so I will go and update you soon. Probably after Tim's trip home...or during because I'm sure I will have his laptop while he is home. I'll have lots of time to update after he goes to bed every night...he's one of those people who go to bed by midnight and then there is me who isn't asleep till like 2 or 3 in the morning every day. Till next time...