Settliung into the new job title...

So I may have spread myself a little thin with all the things being thrown at me lately.  I am enjoying working on the summer reading program but with all the other new things I will be in charge of it should be interesting getting it all done.  I did my first schedule for the month of May and there are a few days where we just don't have enough people to cover it.  Those few days are days that our accounting person is there so I'm not too worried about it, there will still be two people there.  I still have a few people I can write in when they let me know if they will be available for the summer.

Tonight is movie night with the wild bunch I love so much.  I love movie nights with the Owen's crew and I haven't seen them in FOREVER!  I wasn't able to grab a movie from work so it will probably be a Netflix movie for tonight.

As for Usborne I have put it on hold until June at least.  What with all the things going on at the library and not having anybody to cover if I take days off.  We do have Memorial Day Weekend off so I am thinking of taking a long weekend trip somewhere.  I haven't decided yet since I don't have a car and the truck takes so much gas.

I don't really know what else to say for today so I will update you soon as to how plans are going.

Randomness of ME!!!!

Okay so I had a bad weekend but I am over everything that happened until somebody trudges up the feelings again.  I spent the entire weekend locked up in my room doing nothing.  I had a lot I should have been doing while holed up but I just couldn't concentrate on any of it.  I did watch the Pirate's game on Saturday and Sunday.  This year I am big on baseball I have watched every game that has been on so far.

I caught the end of last night's game.  So far of the games I have seen they have won two and lost one.  Today's games I am keeping track of the scores.  The first game is in the bottom of the fourth inning and they are tied at zero.  The good news is the Pirate's are the only ones who have made any base hits so far.  It is kind of depressing to say the least.  They play a double header today and I am sad I can't really watch or listen to either game but I am keeping track of the score online. 

It is a VERY dead day here at the library.  I should be working on the back room because some kids have torn through there and made it a disaster zone but I need to save that for a day where I have decent help at the front desk.  That may be a while though.  Maybe tomorrow I will get to that, or Saturday I can work on that.  There isn't much else that really needs done as I have done all the front room work over the last couple mornings while it is dead and I'm alone to concentrate on it.  Tomorrow I have a summer reading meeting in the morning and then work the rest of the day.  It is going to be a long day.

Friday I have a booth in Aliquippa and am really hoping it does well so that I have some spare money to last until payday (May 15th).  I am hoping to make at least enough to cover my two booths in May and some gas money.  I have a lot of pre-orders coming through before next payday and I have already filled that account to cover it.  Let's just hope it doesn't go overdrawn again.  I honestly don't know how I manage it sometimes.  Only one more payment and I will have an extra $250 in my account (to pay off or catch up on other bills of course) which should help either catch up or pay things off.

Anyways, I have set a goal to write in my journal or blog every day for the next 6 weeks so you will be hearing from me more often for a while.  When the 6 weeks is up I am going to try to keep it up, but we will see how that works out.  Oh, that's right my team won the weight loss challenge and I signed up for round two and hope to win that round as well, but my team isn't quite as good this time so I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Okay I have to do some work I guess.  Update you again soon.

Broken Hearted Again!!!

What do you do when all your dreams fall apart?  I'll tell you, I suffer in silence for a while and then I move on. I also make an idiot of myself which makes the suffering worse.  I have got to find a way to move on and get past my dream.  I can't let this ruin my life anymore.  Yes, I am afraid to move and honestly why would anybody want to be with somebody as screwed up as me.  It's like there is a switch in my head that says continue suffering but do it with somebody else.  It is an odd dilemma.

I have considered texting somebody and saying I am over somebody else and ready to see him again but it would be a lie.  Call me crazy but while I really like the first person I can't be with somebody that reminds me of said second person.  You are all probably very confused about what I am talking about but I can't describe it any better.  I am a complete and utter mess right now and am not ready to move on just yet.

But in other news, I may be getting both a promotion and raise at the library.  Waiting to see if everything is okay and goes through as planned.  With the library board you can never be sure what will happen.  I am super excited and sad about the coming changes.  I am also super excited about planning the summer reading programs this year.

First Financial is finally paid off next month.  Then a month or two after that I will be able to pay off J C Penney's.  That will only leave Dell unpaid and I can throw all my money at it.  With a raise I may be able to get a car while I pay off the Dell account.  Meaning shortly after that I can get the HELL out of this house and hopefully NEVER come back again.  For the time being I am going to stick around the area to stick with this job.  So far it is the second longest job I've had and the first was Graebel Movers.  Right now they are about tied at a year and a half.  September is year two at both Usborne and the library.  I am just glad everything is almost paid off at last it took almost 8 years to pay off the First Financial and will be almost 6 years for the Dell account.

Okay I think that is all I can say or have to say.  I will update you again soon.  Oh and no I have not been on the blind date yet and don't really want to go at all.  Everybody keeps bugging me about it.  I have three other people I really want to date.  One of them is seeing somebody and far away, one is exactly like the first and the third I am intrigued with but have only e-mailed or texted.  So I am struggling but I will figure it out.  I am afraid to move on but I know I have to.  There is no chance that things will change between me and guy number one...at least not anytime soon.

Later!

Put yourself down not me...

Why is it so hard to support your own daughter when she does something that she truly enjoys.  I just got asked why I still do the Usborne Books.  They don't think that I should continue selling them.  I make more in one Saturday at a booth than I do for one Saturday at work.  I just don't get why they don't understand it is something I am good at (for the most part) and it's something that I love.  They don't understand that I fight for what I want and work hard to get those things.  I don't think they realize that this is one of the reasons I moved all the way to Utah without calls home just to get away from them.  I hate being belittled and unsupported.

I mean for somebody who doesn't leave the house (dad's words) I am always either busy at home or gone.  I do know that I need to get out more but it is all about finding the right person and having a car that doesn't GUZZLE gas.  I just overdrew my bank account again to get gas to last until paychecks are in (I was so close to not needing to get gas again...BOO!!!)

Apparently moving away didn't fix the problem so I have got to get out again and never have to come back again.  I hate the put downs.  I mean what kind of parent demeans their kids even the adult ones.  And people wonder why I don't trust my own judgement at all.  I go to my friends and ask if they think something is a good idea before I do it.  I don't even ask my family their opinion anymore it doesn't match what I want at all.  Sometimes I HATE life and today is one of those days.  I am sick of it all and ready to get the HECK OUT OF HERE!!!

Fell off the bandwagon...

Okay so a lot has happened in the last month or so.  I am out of one of my challenges but the other is still going strong.  I have fallen behind on one of my bills but only have two more payments on another.  I have eight blankets to make and have finished 1 and have another pinned together (need thread for it though).  I have decided I am ready to move on with my life and start dating again so I am working on that as well.  Okay so now let's get to the meat of the blog not the update.

Let's start with the challenge that is no more.  I did not make the sales I needed for March so I am no longer in the running for the new iPad.  But that is okay I didn't really need it, it was just a frivolous want and once I get all my other goals settled I will get one for myself.  I am still going to work hard to fill in those circles for the next two months so that I can get things paid off and all that.  I need to move out, get a car and pay off all my debt and then I can start saving for an iPad or something else as a reward for hitting my other goals.

I am still a part of the Game On challenge and have been doing good at losing the 1% weekly weight goal but this week I don't think I will make it.  We will wait and see in the morning though.  It's only been three weeks and I have lost about 4 pounds and can squeeze into some of my size 6 pants again.  Good thing the summer is still a ways away.  I have been walking daily at work, mainly to get away from my co-worker, and love it.  I have gotten to the point where I can go the first 8 blocks of town in twenty minutes.

I have fallen behind on the Dell Financial account because last month I used the last of my money for books in order to make the challenge and that overdrew my account so this month I was short that extra money I would have had.  No worries though I should be able to catch up this coming month (I hope).  As for First Financial, I only have a payment in April and May and then it is paid off for good.  I do still have to deal with J C Penney but I will wait until First Financial is paid off for that one.  After those two are paid off all I have is Dell and I will throw all the money from First Financial will go towards Dell and it will be paid off pretty quickly I think.

I have started making all the blankets for cousins and friends who are pregnant and due in July and August.  I have three cousins due in August (two boys and a girl) and one friend due in July (she is having twins).  I also have to make a blanket for the friends third child since they didn't get one yet and two for my friend Debbie's twins (still fighting to get an address).  I did finish all but the ties on one of the blankets this morning (only took a day to stitch it completely).  I have another one ready to sew I just need to get thread because I don't have the colors I thought I did.  The others I still have to get fabric for.  I'm going to look at the Monaca Wal-Mart on Wednesday for more fabric.

Lastly, on the dating scene.  I was set up on a blind date by my aunt and he doesn't seem crazy like every other blind date I've been on.  He stopped into the library on Saturday and caught me off guard.  I have to e-mail and let him know what I want to do over the weekend.  We'll see how that goes.  I also joined Match.com and have a few possibilities there as well.  I was trying to stick within three years age difference but the blind date is 34 I think she said and the main possibility on Match is 35.  At least they are older this time and not younger.  Oh well I am moving on and SO ready for it.

I guess that is all I have for you right now so until next time live life to the fullest and go after your dreams.