Where I Stood

So today I was watching One Tree Hill and I heard this song. It describes my life almost entirely. The song says, "I don't know who I am without you, all I know is that I should..." I have always struggled with who I am and for the last eight years I have only truly been myself with one person. I struggle every day to be that person without them but it doesn't work out well.

I have come to believe that every person has a soul mate. That one person they can't live without. Their better half. I have met mine and for years I have stood by and waited for them to realize it too. I got tired of waiting and being alone at one point so I did something stupid. That's right, I can be stupid too. I got married, I cared about the person I married but after a few months I realized what a mistake I had made. I struggled through my marriage, eventually I cleared my head and decided to let go of the person I couldn't give my whole heart to. I still wait for the other guy to realize the truth.

I struggle with the pain and heartbreak of watching him move from person to person. I sit by and watch him struggle through his own life. All I know is I should know who I am without him but I don't. I don't want to make the mistake of marrying somebody else I don't belong with. So sure I may end up alone forever which is one of my biggest fears but if that is how long it takes then I will wait.

"I always thought love was black or white, that it was wrong or it was right, but you aren't leaving without a fight..." Listen to the song. Music can soothe the soul or it can make you cry but it is the therapy of life for everybody. Because no matter what music is therapy for everybody.