So I have been watching Season 6 of Grey's Anatomy has my life story in it. People say that movies, books, songs and TV aren't real life but where do you think the ideas for the story-lines come from. That's right somebody had to live the tricky love triangles, the deaths, and the heartbreaks. In Season 6 there are a few episodes dealing with a girl who has been in love with her best friends forever. She comes back and tells him and then he is torn between her and his current girlfriend. It all works out in the end because she and the guy she loves stay friends and he and his girlfriend stay together. I know that may not make sense but I have been in that situation. I have waited too long to tell somebody that I love them. I have moved on too many times to count and that is the hard part. Moving on isn't easy especially when you know you can't love anybody else ever. I have gotten married to somebody I didn't love because I was tired of waiting for the one I did love. I am done moving on. It may be that I am single my entire life but I don't care anymore. I would rather be alone than with somebody I don't love. I hold the heartbreak I feel everyday in my heart so that I never forget that fact.
We all feel love a different way. Some admit it openly and widely. Some hide it and don't want to admit it. Some don't know what they want at all so they don't do anything. I have felt love each of these ways but the one I love hides it and honestly doesn't know what he wants. I had a stage in my life before I met this person where I didn't know what the heck I wanted but when I met him I knew immediately I was meant to be with him. I didn't admit it at first because he was still in high school and I was three years older than him. Finally the time came where I did admit it openly to him and I still do every so often just so he never forgets.
I am lost and confused most days because of this situation I'm in. Do I give up? Do I keep fighting? What do I do? I don't know but until I take my last breathe I will love this person and I don't think I will ever give up on him. I may give up the fight but I will never give up on the love I have for him. That's all there is to say on that matter.
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