I was given information today that I just don't know what to do with. When I am sick I hate everything and I am highly emotional. I don't know what to think or what to do. So I have been struggling to understand a whole bunch of things that I have learned over the past few weeks. I have come to trust only one person in my life and that is a hard thing for me. I used to have tons of friends that I would trust with my life. But lately it seems like I have one that I trust with my life and a few others that seem to be pulling away. I guess it doesn't help help that all of my friends but one are married with kids...that one is going through a divorce. So where does that leave me?
I want to be able to move on with my life. I want to find somebody new. I want to be independent and on my own finally. You may be thinking so what's the problem just do it? Well I am not in the emotional state to do so. Until I get my own emotions under control I can't move on with any of these other things. I need to stop being an emotional shopper. I get stressed or depressed and I shop, I get upset and I shop. It is what I have always done but the funny thing is I hate shopping and it stresses me out even more. So why do I do?
I am just ranting sorry. I am tired of all the drama and the things in my life I can't control. So I am going to work on the few things I can control and work my way out of this drama fill pit that I am stuck in. I know what I want and I will start working my way towards that today. I will start working on me and not worrying about what other people think or do!
That's all for today thanks for listening folks.
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