Thursday, October 27, 2011

Working it out!!!

I was given information today that I just don't know what to do with.  When I am sick I hate everything and I am highly emotional.  I don't know what to think or what to do.  So I have been struggling to understand a whole bunch of things that I have learned over the past few weeks.  I have come to trust only one person in my life and that is a hard thing for me.  I used to have tons of friends that I would trust with my life.  But lately it seems like I have one that I trust with my life and a few others that seem to be pulling away.  I guess it doesn't help help that all of my friends but one are married with kids...that one is going through a divorce.  So where does that leave me?

I want to be able to move on with my life.  I want to find somebody new.  I want to be independent and on my own finally.  You may be thinking so what's the problem just do it?  Well I am not in the emotional state to do so.  Until I get my own emotions under control I can't move on with any of these other things.  I need to stop being an emotional shopper.  I get stressed or depressed and I shop, I get upset and I shop.  It is what I have always done but the funny thing is I hate shopping and it stresses me out even more.  So why do I do?

I am just ranting sorry.  I am tired of all the drama and the things in my life I can't control.  So I am going to work on the few things I can control and work my way out of this drama fill pit that I am stuck in.  I know what I want and I will start working my way towards that today.  I will start working on me and not worrying about what other people think or do!

That's all for today thanks for listening folks.

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