Yesterday I realized that I don't know the truth about what I really want. I was talking to my friend and before we signed off he asked if I was okay? Pretty easy to answer question right? I said I was but I really wasn't. It wasn't a lie at the time because I was okay when he asked. The more I thought about that question "Are you okay?" I realized that I am far from okay and it has been that way for a while.
I have been lying to myself far too long. I am supposed to be finding me and being me (part of the reason I need to move out) and I haven't been. If I act like me around here I would have no car and no place to live in a split second I have no doubts about that. I am sick of being somebody else's me I want to be my own person. Only one person has seen the true me and that person hasn't seen it all by a long shot.
That isn't all I have been lying about but I don't really want to get into it on here. The rest is a really sore subject for me at the time being and I don't like thinking about it at all. Hence the reason I lock up inside and let it nudge me every once in a while. Just wish this would change so I didn't have to hide it anymore.
Oh well I guess that is all I have for today. Just wanted to say that. Later
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