Random rantings of a tired mind...

I can't get over how slow the library has been. There were a lot of spurts of people coming and going but most of the time nobody was there. It is kind of freaky sometimes actually. Josie and I sat there talking most of the time or reading. I still can't believe Christmas is in like 4 days and the new year is in a little less than two weeks. This blog is going to have a ton of really random stuff in it sorry I just have a lot I have to get off my mind so that I can sleep well tonight. I should actually be asleep so I can get up and into work on time (not that I'm ever late) but I'm not used to having to go in anytime before 1 and I'm opening at 11:30 tomorrow. Kind of sucks I like closing.

Tomorrow my friend Ben gets home for Christmas leave and a bunch of people he knows will be meeting up at Kendrew's Lounge. I may go join them but we'll have to wait and see. I haven't seen him since my birthday in June and may not see him for a while as he is being stationed over in Germany after he graduates C school for the Navy. I am excited for that to say the least.

I don't have plans for Wednesday or Thursday YET! Thursday night everybody is going to the Steelers game...which I am all good with. So while the cat's are away the mouse will play. I know that isn't the right way but guess what I don't care. I'll probably spend the day cleaning since we are having the annual Christmas Eve party at our house. I do have a little last minute baking to do as well so between Thursday and Friday it should all be taken care of. I may even go to a Christmas Eve thing at my friend Josie's church to hear her sing...haven't decided on that yet.

I have to start another baby blanket here soon too. I got a friend who is due in March and since time flies got to do it now before I forget and run out of time. I got my sewing supplies and a few other things in the mail today. Hopefully the other box comes tomorrow so I have my nice coat to wear for Christmas and all the other festive things before me in the next couple weeks.

There is so much going on in my mind that I can't even figure out what all I want to say anymore. There was a point to this blog when I started but I don't remember what it was now and I don't think I hit on it. How sad is that? Well I am off to bed. Later.

Waiting for the new door to open...

• So here we are a week until Christmas. Which means there is only two weeks left in the year. How crazy is that. I am super excited about the next couple weeks, let's just hope all the plans follow through instead of fall through. Tomorrow I work and then I'm going out with a friend from work. Sunday I am working around the house. Monday I got calls to make and then work. Tuesday one of my best friends will be home for two weeks and I hope to get to hang out a ton because sometime next month he is being transferred to Germany. Today I am cleaning my room which is long over due and I may not have another chance to do it anytime soon.

• So my coming weeks are not what this blog is actually about. This blog is kind of a recap of this past year. I started the year in Germany. I found out that I have asthma and had a few great vacations. Around Easter the Barnett family headed to the Lake Powell, Utah area and experienced Goblin's Gulch (? I think that's the right name) and some of the other amazing formations down that way. In June I headed down to visit my best friend Ben in Mississippi where we visited New Orleans as well. Now that was a great trip and I enjoyed spending my birthday with my friend. At the end of June I came home to Pennsylvania and in August the Mattocks family headed to the sunny beach of Holden Beach, NC.
• What else happened this year? I started writing again in June which I haven't done in years. I was an extra in a movie that comes out fall of next year. I started my dream job of working as a librarian at the New Brighton Library. I also became an Independent Consultant for Usborne Books and More. I am looking for something else part time to supplement the extra pay so I can afford to take care of all the coming events in my life.
• I have experienced driving in snow again for the first time in almost THREE years. I was a wreck that day. I got used to it quickly but really hope it doesn't snow again anytime soon. I love how pretty things are when there is snow on the ground but I HATE driving in it.
• What else can I tell you about? I've made a couple new friends since being back in PA and rekindled a few old friendships to. It has been GREAT! I miss my friends who are back in Utah and down in Mississippi a ton though. I have started paying off the debt that is still hanging around. Only two bills to go finally I paid most of it off the middle of the year.
• All in all I guess you could say it has been a great day. A lot has started and a lot has ended and a ton of goals have been reached. The next year will be crazy as well but who wants quite and dull...not me obviously. But I can say that when one door closes another one opens but I'm still waiting for the other one to open.
• I am ready to enjoy the Christmas and New Years Holidays and I am SO ready for that new door to open and to move on. The next time you hear from me it will most likely be the new year and I will fill you in on the goals for next year. I'm off to clean my room and BAKE only two more kinds of cookies to make and I'm done. Christmas Eve party as usual so next Friday will be kinda crazy and apparently Aunt Brenda is coming home for Christmas. Later!!

RANT

There is a lot to say but I don't know where to start as usual. This Thursday is Thanksgiving and I was hoping to be somewhere warm for the long weekend but that isn't happening. I was also hoping to have a car and be living somewhere warm year round. I love the snow but I HATE the cold. Due to the constant weather changes I have been sick most of the time since well the end of September I think. Well not sick sick but either my sinuses have been acting up or I have had laryngitis (wow I didn't even know I knew how to spell that...lol). I have been missing my nearest and dearest friends and my sisters in law so very much lately it is killing me. I have been working hard and trying my best to keep a smile on my face every day. Some days are harder than others but I manage it while people are around at least which is better than nothing I guess. Thanksgiving Day is going to be kind of hard I think. The thing getting me down the most is the fact that I never have any money after the paycheck pays all the bills. I am getting so frusterated with everything that is going on money wise. I currently have $17 to my name and that is going to get me gas tonight. I am supposed to be getting money for the housing but still haven't seen that. At this point I think I'm bout to just go and talk to somebody at a nearby recruiting office and see what I can do about that. I have been waiting almost two months for that to happen...I resent him my bank info so that he could do it almost two weeks ago and still nothing. People wonder why I get so iritated and can't stand them, things like this are the reason. I am screwed if I don't get the money in the bank soon because like I said I don't have a dime and my stuff is still out in Debbie's garage which I can't do anything about since I never have the money after bills get paid. What else do I have to rant about? Nothing I don't think. Until next time!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

When the world sees me for who I really am is when I will be truly happy. And by the world I don't mean it literally. I mean it as in my world...that one person or thing that makes the world worthwhile and meaningful. There is so much that I want to say but like I said yesterday some things can't be said until they are completely sorted out which will be a year when Tim gets back from deployment. This struggle is bigger than anything I have ever dealt with before and it is a choice that I never saw myself having to make but here I am stuck on the verge of a nervous breakdown with this decision and can't talk to anybody about it because it is something I HAVE to figure out on my own. It has thrown me in a slump because it is all I could think about yesterday I worked my butt off to keep my mind shut off but it didn't work so here I sit depressed, angry at the world and in a place where not a damn thing will go right. I haven't been able to talk to my best friend lately because he has been sick with the flu all week and I always seem to catch him when he is falling asleep. I don't have a penny to my name right now. Wednesday I should be all good again depending on how good the party is and Friday I will definitely be all good since I have a second party then. In two Saturday's I have my first booth up in Cranberry so I will finally be getting my name out there. Now to just find the $30 to register for the booth. I am so lost and confused right now...I really need to get out of my head and stop thinking about it all. Well only about half an hour before my shift starts so I am off and will update you all again soon.

Wow has a lot happened since the last time I posted but I can't talk about half of it yet as it isn't all resolved yet. Some of the things that have happened are showing to cause a ton of conflict for me. I can't wait for things to finally make sense and get better but for now I will continue struggling and making due. I am working two jobs and looking for another one that I can do full time from home. That is raising a bit of an issue but that is a normal occurrence in my life. I am working at the library part time and selling the Usborne books. The library is great with only one small hitch in the fact that it only pays on the 15th of every month (that's it...once a month) so I struggle to make ends meet through out the month. The Usborne thing is starting slow since I wasn't able to get my name out there but this coming month I am taking a Saturday off and doing my first booth which will get me out there. I have had one good party but the rest have pretty much been duds. I am still keeping at it though and refuse to give up. I don't really have anything else that I can say here for now. All I can say is I can't wait to be able to stop struggling with all this stuff locked up inside of me. Only one person knows the whole story and that's how I'm going to keep it for now. It's Halloween my favorite holiday and I totally don't get the chance to dress up. It is a depressing Halloween this year but what can I say not all years can be good. I know that next year will be better because I won't have all this crap on my plate. But next month should be a lot better. I still can't believe that in TWO days it will be November. Where did this year go? Hopefully come January I will have all this worked out be able to talk about it but for now I will be keeping you in suspense. Later mom wants to use her laptop so I have to get off of it. I will try to keep you up to date from now on. Should be a lot to tell soon.

Blah...

• So today kind of sucks. I went to work but I haven't had a voice all day. It is starting to come back a little bit but while I was really cold at work I am really hot at home. I am thinking the thermometer was wrong and that I have a fever but whatever. I go into work again tomorrow afternoon. But at least I get to sleep in and maybe get past this little bug. My first party was a success with three people I made $65 and got two parties from it. I do of course have other people who wanted to order so I have to find a time to go talk to all the others so that I can get their orders in soon and get more free books for my display. I went to the chat last night and got a lot of GREAT ideas for the Christmas season. I have another party this coming Sunday and the one for tonight had to be pushed back to next weekend. But they asked what our fall goals were and I have some major goals for each month. I have to for my life goals.

• That is another subject. If my plan works out I will be able to pay off every single bill I currently have by the end of November. I will try to have all but Dell paid off next month. Which would leave like $1900 on my Dell card which should be easy to pay off the following month. We will have to wait and see how that goes. But with at least 15 parties next month, plus 2 book fairs in the Cranberry area, and I am going to take the Literacy for a Lifetime that Leigh Ann has for me. With that next month and my library job I should have at least $2800 I think coming in next month. In November and December I should be able to fit in 10 to 12 shows and 1 book fair each month. But first I have to get some major leads. I am going to have a Christmas Open house for Usborne as well. We'll see what happens.

• In other news...I'm loving the library and I am caught up with Dell payments. I feel like crap today and really want to head to the warm beach again. It is getting cold here and all my stuff is stuck in Utah. Dad thinks he might be able to fix my laptop so Tammy is looking for it and will send it to me if she finds it. Tonight GLEE starts and I am super duper excited about that. Since I knew I wouldn't be able to spend money the next few months I kind of splurged and ordered season 1 of Glee and season 2 of Wildfire (a total of like $30). But in a couple months I will be able to spend money however I want. But from now on anything I buy I will be able to afford...NO more CREDIT CARDS for me.

• Well I don't think I have much else to mention right now so I am off to do some work. Maybe lay down and read for a while. Later

Plan of the Century...

• So I was just looking at my friend Debbie's blog "Fighting the Girth" and it got me thinking. I weighed myself while on vacation and since I got home I have gained almost 20 of the almost 60 that I lost in Utah. Which means it is time to start walking daily again but the problem is that everywhere I turn here is a BIG hill. So that means I either have to start going to Brady's Run after work or use the treadmill which I hate (however doing that I could watch movies/tv or read). The point is I don't look like I have gained the weight but I know that I have so it is time to lose it all again. But I am still trying to get rid of the little bit of fat in my stomach and tone up my arms. That is besides the point though...I just want to get rid of the 20 pounds I gained after moving back to Pennsylvania. I'm sure it is all the stress I have been under without a job and with other situations in life.
• I now have two jobs and I started both of them in the past two weeks and both have to do with books. The first one is a librarian at the New Brighton Library. To be honest that has always been one of my dream jobs. So I am very happy there and the past two days there have been great. The people are great and I am learning a LOT!! The second is as an Independent Consultant for Usborne Books. I love these books and I have learned a lot from the books I've read. I had my first party last Saturday night and made $15 but she is still taking orders so I will hopefully get some more soon. I have to wait until my new debit card comes to actually place the first order. I am going to have my party in two weeks and I already have my first two parties booked for September.
• These stupid bugs in the house are starting to freaking get on my nerves. I am sitting here trying to type or eat and they are all over me. It is SO annoying...I am glad to get out of the house for a few hours every day.
• This weekend is the Canfield Fair and I am still debating on whether I want to go at all. I usually go to check out the horses and get a funnel cake/elephant ear and maybe ride some rides. But they are going Saturday for the Truck and Tractor pulls...LAME and Monday they are going for the horse shows...also LAME!! So like I said I may not even go at all. I have Friday off but I am going to spend the day giving the dog a bath and doing any errands I have. I am also going to have a GLEE marathon...well Volume 1 at least. Tomorrow after work I am spending some much needed time cleaning my room and picking a date for my own home show for Usborne books.
• Things in other aspects of my life are still iffy. I am trying to let go of some different things in my life but I can't because they won't let go of me. I know this probably doesn't make much sense to most of you but there are a few who will understand what I mean. Eventually everybody will know but for now I am not ready to share all the details with everybody.
• Can I just leave you with this one random thing. I love anything that is musical related...I'm sitting here typing and dancing along to the songs in Glee. The last one was Bust A Move...love it. K...well I am off for today. I will try to update more this month that I have been. LATER!!

Oh what a glorious week...

• I can't go into much detail but it was a great week. For those of you who don't know there are like three movies currently filming in Pittsburgh so some pretty big celebrities are milling around the city. Anyways, I was lucky enough to be an extra in one such movie this week. It so much fun. I met a ton of really cool people and got to be in a movie.

• I also spent a lot of time this week training for my new job as an Independent Consultant for Usborne Books. I had my first party yesterday and really enjoyed myself. I have one party booked for next month and soon I will have another booked. I am also going to be having my own party next month. I didn't make my challenge that Leigh Ann set for me so I don't get the free book for my display but that's ok. It still got me motivated and that's what I needed. Sometimes that's all it takes for me to get going is a little challenge. I am hoping to win one of the companies challenges as well to get A TON of free books for my display. The 11 I have just aren't enough to do the books justice. These books are amazing and I have learned a lot from them and most of them are for the little kids.
• In other news not much else is going on which is why I haven't blogged much. I have read 10 books more than last year already and it is only August. So I may have over 100 books read this year. I am still looking for another major job for a bit but for now I am going to deal with these book sales. That's about all I have for you guys for now. Later!!!

Let's Spend A Week Doing Nothing Fun...

• So I have been at the beach for a week almost. Mom, dad and I left at around 6 am last Sunday and got to Holden Beach (the Neeley Beach House) at like 5 something in the evening. It was a very long and boring trip once dad figured out his trucks usb port (so we could listen to music). Anyways, we got here and got the truck unloaded. Brenda and Rachel who had left the night before us were in the process of showering after a day at the beach when we got in. When they were ready we got back in the car, got dinner and then headed to Wal-Mart.

• Monday and Tuesday we spent the days at the beach. Wednesday I was bored of the beach and pretty much had all the tan I was going to get without burning so I stayed in and relaxed. Thursday mom and I did some gift shopping and then spent a little bit of time at the beach until the storm rolled in. We all got ready and drove into Myrtle Beach for dinner and fun. We ate at the Bonefish Grill and while I wasn't too thrilled with it everybody else loved it. After that we went to Wing's (I think it was) and did some shopping. We came home and just hung out. The storm kept me up most of the night. Thunder shook the whole house a couple times waking me up and the lightening was rediculously bright and right outside my window.

• The next morning we four girls went to these islands (sand dunes) at the end of the island. I got a lot of amazing pictures of shells and other pretty cool things. The other three collected shells. Then we came back and hit the beach for a little bit again. When it started raining I came in but the other four waited it out and went back out to the water for a bit.

• Today we spent the morning cleaning. Rachel and Brenda went parasailing this morning as well. I am spending the day inside because I have no desire to spend any more time in the sun and heat this week. The sad thing is I couldn't go anywhere all week because I can't drive the company car and Rachel doesn't let me use her car so all in all it was pretty boring. I unlike the others don't enjoy just sitting on the beach in the heat and going in the water a couple times throughout the day...BORING!!!

• However right down the beach a guy caught a total of three sand sharks in three days...that was just four or five houses down...CREEPY much? The good news is that apparently sand sharks just nibble they don't attack...lol...so reassuring. I also got to see some baby turtles hatch which was cool. It was dark so I didn't see much and the pictures didn't turn out but I did see it.

• But on the upside when I get back I should have my supplies to start selling the Usborne books. My friend who sells them found a special where I could start for $20 and was willing to lend me the money. So she signed me up and my supplies were delivered today from the confirmation number and all I was sent. I am so excited to start. When I get home I am going to call the New Brighton library and see if I can get in there and I'm going to try Tri State again because I will need at least a part time job while selling as well.

• Anyways, lots of pictures to come to facebook soon...I don't even have them all on the computer yet. Got to do a few touch-ups as well. I'm sure there is more to say but I don't know what it is so I'm going to go. But if any of you who are reading this would like to start selling Usborne Books or maybe host a party let me know...I can do home shows or eshows (only selling over the internet).

Oh the tragic life I lead...

So today was interesting...I have totally not been having a good day. I fell asleep around four in the morning because I could not shut off my mind. This is going to be confusing but I am having issues getting over somebody but it is not the somebody that I should be struggling to get over. Maybe that means I am not supposed to get over this person maybe they are supposed to break my heart over and over again. Maybe it is a test of my strength and endurance. Anyways, I woke up every few hours all night long. Only to wake up at 7 and lay there awake only until finally getting up. I was up for a couple hours before I got in the shower at noon. Of course a couple minutes into my shower the power goes out. I didn't think much of it until the water went out as well. Of course the water going out was timed perfectly...I was just washing my face. So the water goes out and I have face wash all over my face and hands...oh joy. With my eyes clothes I had to get out of the shower to find a towel to wipe of my face and hands.A little bit did get in my eyes but I got my drops and got it out right away. I still have conditioner in my hair and it is kind of making my head itchy but oh well, I'll fix it later. So I since the power was out I spent some time outside with Tippy. She got brushed, somehow some of it wound up in my mouth and my asthma flaired up. I also did some reading. Then I realized that my library books were due today but I didn't finish any of them so I had to renew them but the internet was out with the power and I didn't want to go all the way to the library today. I say that like it is so far away...lol...it's not. So the power finally came on at about 4 so I came in and chilled in the A/C and looked up more jobs. I did get a second interview at Walgreen's which is the job I want the least as it is minimum wage $7.25/hr and part time. I mean it is close so I would be saving money on gas but with that pay and those hours I wouldn't be able to save the money I need and pay bills. It just wouldn't work. Plus I am trying to steer clear of retail like that again. But none the less I go in Wednesday morning at 10. I guess it is a good sign they are giving me the second interview. I did find a data entry position that I would be perfect for and it pays $16 to $17 to start but it didn't say where it was so I am trying to get more details on that position. Just my luck today finding a job that doesn't tell me the details I need. I am ranting I'm sorry but I had to get this aweful day out somehow. I am dead tired itchy and I want to color my hair and have it cut some time this week...but I have no money. Maybe I can go get hair color tonight and do that when I get another shower. Also I may not be going to the beach after all we will have to see what happens though. But I have smiled throughout the day and kept my head up. Tomorrow can only be better right?? I sure hope so!!

Where do I go from here??

• So I have this business opportunity that is similar to Avon and Mary Kay but I don't have the money to start it. So I have been thinking maybe I will see if I can get ahold of $10 and start selling Avon or something so that I can get the money for Usbourne. Mom flat out told me I would suck at it so I know I can't ask to borrow the money from them. I really think it is something I would really enjoy doing. Anyways it is with Usbourne which is the leading non fiction children's book seller in the country...even above Scholastic. The problem is this month there is a $100 start up fee and after this month it goes to the original price of $200. So I have been trying to come up with some ideas of things I can do to make the money.

• I have been thinking about maybe making and selling cakes and cookies but the issue there is where do I actually sell them? I don't know that many people in the area who would buy them. I was also thinking (like I said above) about starting out by selling Avon and using that money to start selling Usbourne as well. They are two very different items being sold so there wouldn't be a conflict of interest in doing both. My cousin says I should do a lemonade stand but on my road i'd sell maybe one cup a day so that is out. I could do dog sitting but I don't know many people who would need a dog sitter or a babysitter for that matter. I have all these ideas floating around in my head. I wouldn't have this issue if I would finally hear back from one of the places I applied (Tri State). I do have one other option but I won't do that unless I ABSOLUTELY HAVE too.

• In other news the Ketcham reunion was a blast but getting there was VERY chaotic. I picked up Rylee Ann at Jack's at 10:45. We finally get on the road and are at the store getting ice when we hear that Uncle Bobby and Aunt Quinn's truck had no working brakes. So we went back home and picked up the Jeep and headed to Uncle Bobby's. We loaded up the truck and the Jeep and headed out. We got to the reunion about an hour late and ate (we were all starved). I spent time with Rylee at the playground and we played Bingo and the Dice game. I missed the auction but it sounded like it was fun. We spent some time talking and then headed home. I forgot to take my camera but I wouldn't have had time to actually take pictures anyways so it doesn't matter.

• Other than that I am keeping my head up and trying to keep smiling. It is hard but I am managing somehow. I really really want to see Step Up 3D and Charlie St. Cloud but well I don't have the money to do that. I am actually bored with facebook, I didn't think that was possible. But all in all I am all good. Next week I will be at the beach and then I have to figure out if I want to go camping over Labor Day and if I do I have to decide where I'm going. Why do they have to screw me up by going two different places. Oh well it's not a hard decision just have to figure out if I want to deal with the crap for not going with the other group.

• Well that's all for now. More soon!!

Meadville Fun!!!!

So Sunday was the Mattocks Family Reunion. We left at 11:30 am after making all the food for it. We got there a little before 1 (which is when it started) and unloaded the truck. We ate (Chaos-people forming like 5 lines with people still trying to add food to the table) and chatted. Then came time for the auction, assignments for next year, and the 50/50 drawing. The kids made ice cream and then played their own games and crafts while the adults played Bingo and the Dice Game. I played the bean bag game with Dad, Josh and Uncle Bobby (Grandpa when Bobby had to call for Bingo) so I skipped the games this year. I missed last years reunions so this year it was a blast. Here are a few pics...

Bingo (Uncle Bobby) calling

Uncle Bobby Auctioneer Before games and such (Sydney sleeping)

Bobby and Josh (Father and Son) Rachel, Aunt Queenette and me Dad and Bobby (Brothers) Grandma and Sydney Kids making ice cream

In other news, in the past week I've had four interviews. Well today's was a test in order to get an interview. But now to just wait and see and continue looking elsewhere. I am still really hoping that I get the one at Tri State...the one person who makes final decisions is on vacation so I should hopefully hear from them soon. Sirena is still waiting to hear as well and she interviewed a month ago. Poor Mindy must be going insane all alone in that office. I would still need at least one other job if I get that one so I'm hoping to get an interview at Family Video (where I went today) I don't really want the Walgreen's job but I'll take it if it is offered.

Saturday is the Ketcham reunion so there will most likely be more pictures posted here next week. I mean they are all on Facebook but here I will at least caption them a bit. And yes all of these photos have been edited the originals were kind of dark so I brightened them and took out or added some of the shadows and highlights. I can't do nearly as much as Debbie can but I still enjoy editing them with what little I can.

I will keep you all updated...

Interview!!!

• So last night I got a call for an interview. However the lady I talked to is going to be on vacation so she had to send my resume to another office and they will call me to set up an interview. See the truck is still being fixed so I don't have a car today when she wanted to interview me so I have to do it next week. But I am still excited that I finally got called to be considered for a job. It is at the Pediatrician's office in Chippewa and from what I understand I will be working with somebody that I went to school with. We weren't extremely close but I still consider her a friend. Which will be way fun!!! Another High School Alum is going to help me out with a possible interview at Pizza Hut. We'll see how that goes. Still have a few other resumes out there so hopefully this coming week I have a job.

• The family reunions and beach trip are all coming up on us too. That means I have to get my tan evened out but it has been so humid out that I haven't been able to spend much time outside with my asthma and all. It kind of sucks but I get by I guess. I have got to add minutes to my phone as well. I only have like 20 minutes left and that isn't nearly enough to last. Then again if I don't add more minutes then my phone will be shut off. It may be a good thing...it may not.

• School has to be put on hold until Spring so that I can save up the money I will need. I have to get a laptop and a car as well as save for school and for a place to live when I finally leave again. Hopefully I won't be here too long. Hopefully in January I will be moving to warmer climates. I am not making any plans though. My plans always fall through right now. We will see how it all goes but I'm hoping to be moved down south and starting classes in January. By then the car situation will be taken care of...that (if all goes as planned) will be worked out by the end of September. Another situation will hopefully be taken care of by the end of this month. We will see how it all goes though.

• Life is changing and I am going with the flow. I did finally figure out what was up with a friend and that has made everything all good again for now. Now I just have to keep smiling and kick the world in the ass when it brings me down. Well I think that is all for now I am going to dig out my contacts because I just lost my left one and it ripped. I have been typing this with my left eye closed so that I can see properly. I know I'm weird. Possibly seeing Eclipse tonight and watching Elizabethtown with Rena. Later!!!

When will it get better

• As always a lot has been on my mind lately. I am still in the process of looking for a job. There is a very good chance that I get one or two calls from stops I made on Friday before I got lost. I spent Thursday night up in Monaca and nowhere up there is hiring...not even at the mall. It's sad!!! So right now my best bets are the Kennel down the road and a Video Store in Ellwood City. Kind of sad...I applied for a few jobs I found on craigslist.com today. One of them would be mostly from home with very little travel. Kind of cool and perfect for a part time to start job. There was one for a Chiropractic office starting at $11 to $15 but it is in the Cranberry/Wexford area. The last one was in Baden but it also paid well...I don't remember what it was for though.

• It has been rainy but HOT here lately...I love it. Sunday the dog got a bath. She smells so much better now. It doesn't kill me to wake up next to her anymore...lol...they put her in my room when they leave and she always winds up curled up in a ball right next to me. Once the truck is done I'm going to see if Dad will put the bed back in that room but the truck is more important. The floor is very comfortable...I know you all think that is crazy talk but I love it on the floor. If i were allowed I would totally set up my tent in the yard for the summer and sleep out there but I'm not because it would make a brown patch in the grass...lol. No biggie!!

• I have been having crazy real feeling dreams lately too. I won't describe them because they are very personal. I am glad I am having them but it's kind of scary sometimes. They are so real and I really wish they were truly happening but I wake up and they aren't real at all. But hey they are supplying my creativity. I have written more poems lately than almost ever before. Actually I posted a poem that I wrote while I was down in Mississippi on Facebook today. I can't believe I did it but it is still there and that also surprises me. Normally I probably would have deleted it by now. I have only let one person read anything I wrote and now all of my Facebook friends can read one. It is a very deep and emotional one too. I feel very exposed but it is too late now it is up there and I'm not taking it down at all. I hope I get some comments as to whether people like it or not.

• So there isn't much else I can actually think about saying right now so I will try to post again soon. Hopefully I will get some good news soon as to a job or two and that will go up here. Maybe I will get other good news as well. I miss all my Utah friends and family!!! Later!!

White Flag

• So life has been kind of interesting lately. I won't go into details but I will say that life as I know it is over and a new life has once again began. I love my new found exhilaration and freedom. Now if only I could find myself a job. I am going out tomorrow to look at a few places hope that I get something by next week.

• There isn't much of anything new to say. But I have tried a few new recipes the last couple days. I made the brown sugar chicken last night but I added some Mrs. Dash to the spices and added a few other spices. It was AMAZING but burned the mouth more than anything you could imagine. I love spicy but sometimes it is just too much. Tonight I tried Lemon Garlic Shrimp on the grill. All I did was brushed on lemon juice and then poured on garlic. It was ok but it could have been better. I accidentally burned it on the grill which isn't surprising...I burn everything on the grill...lol. Tomorrow I'm going to do breakfast for dinner because it is quick and easy.

• As for school. I am hoping to be able to start in September but I may have to take the student loans for the first semester or two. I don't know what to do though. I promised myself that I wouldn't take a loan for school ever again. Even if I worked three jobs though I wouldn't be able to get a car and laptop by the time school starts. So I will probably wait until the Spring term starts and not take the student loan.

• Oh and I have fallen in love with a few more shows. I started watching this show called Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family. It is an amazing show and I can't wait for the next episode. It is just another teen drama...imagine that. The other show is called Covert Affairs on USA. Amazing!!! I love the Teen drama's and Spy type shows. So now I got Monk, Psych, Chuck, and Covert Affairs and Burn Notice in the Spy category. And way too many to name under the teen drama and comedy categories. I also like my doctor shows like ER, House, Grey's Anatomy, Mercy, etc.

• But all in all life is changing and my heart is breaking all over again. Why did I give my heart away years ago? It has made my life impossibly hard, but I have learned to manage and make it through life. But when it comes down to it my heart will always be breaking until I either get it back or my holding out pays off. There is a song by Dido that describes how I feel oh so well. It is called White Flag and it describes my feelings so very well anymore.

Starting Over...

• So I worked out some numbers earlier today and I can totally make this all work out...I may have to work two (maybe 3) jobs at one time but it's not like that is something new for me anyways. It would be great if I could work at both K-Mart and Giant Eagle or Fashion Bug but I'm not going to let myself get my hopes up too much. I would be happy to just get one job right now. It is the first time in forever that I will actually have have money to put into other things besides bills. I will still be putting a few hundred into bills only two left and I will have them paid off by the end of the year. Hopefully by the end of next month I will have a couple thousand saved and I can buy a cheap car. I don't care about looks car wise right now I am not going to get a loan so whatever I can get for whatever I have saved that will get me where I need to go is all that I'm going to worry about.

• There are a lot of things I want but more than anything I NEED to pay off this debt. I am going to work out a budget and live by it every month. My first paycheck or two are kind of going to suck since they will go towards paying to having my stuff shipped home from Deb's house and paying my parents back. I am also going to be catching up the First Financial since it is a month past due already. The Dell payment will be late but it is better than getting behind on two bills.

• Anyways, job wise. I have to call Giant Eagle again tomorrow to see if they are still hiring. The hiring manager wasn't in when I called today. K-Mart well the HR manager there was leaving when I talked to her so she is going to call me on Friday and HOPEFULLY I will get an interview. I am going to go into Chippewa tomorrow and apply for more jobs. There is an Animal Hospital in Darlington that I am going to apply to as well. At least there it would be more what I'm looking for, office work, and it may pay a bit more with better hours. Who knows though. But like I said, I may have to work two jobs in order to make all my plans work out but it wouldn't be the first time and I am ready for it. If it weren't so far away I would totally work at Sam's Club if they offered me the same as the one at Layton did, $14/hour. But it is almost a 45 minute drive and the truck which I will be driving till I get a car sucks up the gas. I would probably spend my entire paycheck on gas which would suck.

• I can't wait to get a job. I may not be able to spend much at first but I plan to put aside a little bit of money every payday to have some fun. I also look forward to the White Elephant's at the Family Reunion's and the beach in August. I kind of wish I could have a car by our beach trip but there is no way that is going to happen unless I work a full time and a part time job both at $8.50 or more an hour. Which there is always the possibility of I guess. I won't get my hopes up but I will still dream that it is possible.

• Although, the first thing I get after a car is a brand new laptop...of course in cash. After that any money I make will go to savings and doing some major snowballing on my Dell bill. If I can manage to pay $500 a paycheck on Dell it would be gone in two months. Then I would just have to worry about the First Financial and I could throw a lot at that one. So I may end up staying here till the end of the year. I haven't worked everything out in my mind yet but if I can get rid of the debt by the end of the year then I can pretty much go anywhere and do anything that I want. Being debt free will be amazing and I will NEVER get another credit card in my life. I will only go to school if I have the money and I get enough financial aid (grants and scholarships). I won't get another loan for school.

• Which reminds me! I heard today that I was awarded $2,900 in grants for school. They don't go into effect until Spring 2011 so I have time to save the rest of what I need. I still plan on taking classes online but I may move down to Maryland so that I can be near the no fee testing centers and all that. But like I said, who knows what will happen. I may end up else where. I am done planning where I will end up but I still have a goal to live in all fifty states. I don't know why that is so important to me but I want to be able to say I have lived in all fifty states. I will end up somewhere that is warm year round in the end though I think. I love the snow but I LOVE the heat even more.

• I totally got off topic there. I am so excited to start school in the fall it may sound strange but I love learning. Especially when it comes to English and History. I really want to get any math and science classes I HAVE to take out of the way first so that I can focus on all the fun classes. But I am registered as an English Major and I believe a History Minor. I am really excited. If I could find an online photography class I would totally major in that as well...lol. But that isn't very likely at all.

• I guess you could say that my future is starting to look good again. I am afraid to move forward but really excited as well. My life has become my own again and I am happy to say that I am ready to move forward and stop looking back. Well it is midnight and I have been writing for a while now. I must head to bed another day of cleaning the kitchen and then giving the dog a bath ahead of me. Hopefully it isn't too bad outside tomorrow.

• I will keep you updated as I head towards my goal of becoming debt free. Also next week I start working out daily. Another goal is to stay in shape and that means working out daily. But I will keep you updated on both of these goals. Later!!!

I have been having issues with something called patience lately. I know everybody has these issues and I usually don't struggle with them this much but lately I have been. There isn't much I can say except that it is hard to handle. I can't imagine not having this trial in my life. Every trial in our lives is there for a reason and we either make it through or we don't. I expect to make it through this one because it is just something oh so stupid and all this time. So I am totally sitting here watching The Karate Kid. The original...I forgot how awesome of a movie it was. I also watched Flicka 2 and it was amazing. And OMG Remember Me!!! crazy good. I loved the ending...it was kind of depressing but still amazing. I don't think there is another way in this world to end it. I don't want to ruin the movie so I won't say anything else about them. I was so hoping to be able to put them on my hard drive but apparently the disk drives don't work on this computer and I won't put the program on mom's laptop...she'd kill me. Nobody uses this computer so nobody would know it was on here...lol. Tomorrow I think I will finish Four Daughters, watch Flicka 2 again and watch When In Rome...Rachel has it somewhere. I don't know what else to say but tomorrow looks like swimming and hopefully I get interviews next week. I need at least TWO jobs to get all the money I need for a car and the bills. Life is throwing me curve balls and I am keeping my eye on the ball and eventually I will hit it out of the park. But right now I am still in the game and playing hard. Next week I get to clean the kitchen top to bottom...FUN!!! That's all for now...later

Be Not Nobody!!!

• So lately my life has been pretty dang screwed up. I don't know what to say except that when trials get dropped in my lap it isn't one at a time but four or five at a time. I am slowly making it through all of my trials. I will say that music and GLEE have helped me through the last couple weeks. I don't know what I would do without music and GLEE.
• On that note...when I first heard about it GLEE sounded like it would be completely and utterly lame. Boy was I wrong. Debbie happened to have the GLEE Vol I. soundtrack and we listened to it almost every time we were in her car. I fell in love with the music and the singers. So when I got home to PA I started watching the episodes...OMG!!! I will definitely be getting the Seasons on DVD and watching the second season come fall. I also want all the music...I have been going a bit crazy with the youtube videos from GLEE on facebook...lol. I think I have listened to their regionals video on my facebook links like 500 times in the last couple days.
• I have applied everywhere that I can job wise so now I'm just waiting to hear back from all the places. I am kind of hoping to get a job at Wal-Mart and somewhere else. I have to keep myself busy this summer so that I can make lots of money. Maybe I will get a job at AppleBee's or the Hot Dog Shoppe. I want to be able to get myself a car and be living near the beach come October or November. So two jobs it is all summer in order to do that.
• At least there are only a few major things I plan to do this summer and they aren't until August so I should be good. Those things are the Mattocks and Ketcham reunions (August 1 and August 7) and then the trip down to Myrtle Beach with the family. Aunt Brenda, Aunt Kim, Josh, Grammie, and Uncle David are all coming too. Then camping over Labor Day weekend (well most likely...I haven't decided yet).
• It should be a crazy and extremely FUN summer. Lots of hanging out with Sirena too. From the sounds of it every Tuesday will be Boardman night. Every Tuesday at Movies 8 is $1 movies all day...if there are good movies playing it is totally worth spending the day in Boardman just chilling. Hopefully I will get to hit a Pirates game or two and maybe some swimming and other fun stuff as well.
• That's about all I have to say for now. Update you again real soon.

Everything happens for a reason!!!!

• This past week I have had the chance to actually sit back and figure out where my life went wrong. I realized that the path my life has gone down was one that I had to follow. However, I have also realized that when something goes wrong in my life I always wind up back at home. It is a place that I feel safe and know I can have the space to work my issues out.
• A lot of people may hate the heat and the humidity but I love it. I live for it in fact. I will end up in a place that is warm and humid year round. If it is on the beach that makes it better in the long run but it isn't a stipulation.
• I have been home less than a week and I already know exactly where my life will go next. There is a lot I want out of my life and I am going to work my butt off to achieve all my goals. I am going to spend the summer working and paying off the last couple bills. I'm going to get myself my own car and insurance. I will have the money to start a savings account (in other words my emergency fund). I am going to work my butt off in order to pay off my bills this summer and make it easier on myself to get a place of my own elsewhere when the summer is over.
• My goal is to have a truck or car in the next month. I should be down to just the First Financial Bank by the end of August and that should be half gone as well. I am hoping to have a few hundred at least in a savings account. I am going to budget my money every month from now on and stick to that budget. I learned a lot with Deb's help and I am going to keep all those things in mind as I continue down the road of being debt free. At the end of August I will be able to get a place of my own and actually enjoy my life. Maybe head back to school again.
• Everything happens for a reason. My life is full of odd things that happen for a reason. I don't regret any of them and I don't enjoy all of them but I do need all of them. I wouldn't change a thing in my life. There are people in my life that I could never forget and I love them for everything they have done for me. Thanks to everybody who has been a major part of my life. You will always have a place in my heart y'all.

OH WHAT FUN!!!!

• So I haven't had the chance to update this blog in forever because a lot has happened. I'm not going to go into everything here but most of the people who read this know most of what has happened so we'll leave it at that for now. I don't even remember the last time I updated but I think it was Memorial Day so we'll start with after that.
• Well Tuesday and Wednesday I went to base to get paperwork and appointments out of the way. Thursday was my birthday so there was a small party. It was a fun night...the day wasn't all that great but I really enjoyed the evening. It was the first time I had, had a party in like forever. Deb and her family came and Amanda and the boys came. I couldn't have asked for more.
• Friday I left Salt Lake City at noon-ish and spent the day in airports going to Biloxi, Mississippi to see my Best Friend in the whole world. I had the most relaxing weekend I could ever imagine...I fell in love with Mississippi and would love to live there one day. Anyways, instead of getting there at 9 something my flight didn't get in until almost 11 and I was beat. So when we got back to his apartment I fell asleep quickly.
• Saturday we got up early, Ben made breakfast and we drove to New Orleans. We explored the World War II museum. Then we headed to the French Quarters. I loved New Orleans as well. We had lunch there as well...amazing shrimp ceasar salad. We drove back to Biloxi and we were both tired so we took a short nap. When we went out again we headed to Ocean Springs where we hit the BEST BBQ place I have ever been. If you ever go to Biloxi/Gulfport/Ocean Springs, MS you have got to visit The Shed. I'm not kidding the absolute best BBQ food ever. After that we hit a pier in Ocean Springs...so peaceful. We visited a lighthouse on the way home. At home again we changed and went out to the Hard Rock and another casino...I lost two dollars on the slots which wasn't bad at all.
• Sunday we got up and ready. Then we just went for a drive. It was awesome. We stopped and waded in the water before going to lunch. After lunch we went and got ready for some swimming. We spent about an hour at the beach and in the water before it started raining. Ben had to do some studying with friends for a test the next day...so I just kind of chilled. He had to get something at Wal-Mart so I went along and grabbed a notebook. While the three guys studied I wrote and read. When they finished studying Ben and I ate and then sat back and watched The Dark Crystal. I had never seen it and loved it. We spent the rest of the night talking and hanging out.
• Monday he was at PT and school so I just spent the day relaxing until I had to get to the airport. I didn't want to leave I had fallen in love with Mississippi. I spent the day reading, writing and I even went to the beach for a few minutes...the beach alone is not fun at all. I almost did miss my flight due to traffic being backed up for some unknown reason.
• I got back to Utah and started realizing that I needed to come back to Pennsylvania for the summer. So I packed up and headed to Deb's for the week. Saturday morning I left Salt Lake City again. I landed in Cleveland at 6:30 -ish and just kinda chilled that night. Sunday I spent the day in the sun and can't wait to do it again. Monday I just kind of hung out. Went to Wal-Mart and last night Sirena and I headed to Boardman for our first Boardman movie trip. We saw Nightmare on Elm Street and both loved it.
• Today I was going to hang out in the sun again but it wound up being icky and rainy. Sirena came over at around 1 and we hung out for a while watching movies and talking. I organized my stuff in the living room a bit. Next Monday and Tuesday my room will be cleaned out so that all the craft stuff is downstairs and my bed can go back in there. So for now I am living in the living room and basement...lol.
• Tomorrow I am hoping it will be a lot warmer and no rain so that I can go out and relax in the sun. Got to get me some sun on my legs...they are whiter than paper...kinda sad. I'm gonna have to find me some tanning oil for them...then take my book out and just chill. I'm going to start working out tomorrow as well I think. I need to do something to keep in shape at least.
• So that is how my crazy life has gone the past few weeks. I can't believe it is almost the 4th of July already. I look forward to a summer of working, hanging out, camping and family reunions. I look forward to the beach with everybody in August and the Canfield Fair in September. Oh what fun summers in Pennsylvania/Ohio bring. Later all!!!

• What a fun day. I had the house all to myself today. It was so nice to be in the silence...every once in a while it is nice to be alone and in silence. It is actually my favorite. Maybe that is why I am such a night owl...it is the most peaceful time of the day for me. Anyways, I spent most of the day relaxing in the sun. I woke up at 9:30 laid there till around 10 and then went right outside. I stayed out there till almost 4 pm. I just laid in the grass and read and took in the beauty and sun.
• I also caught up on my Army Wives and One Tree Hill. I almost had a stupid asthma attack at the end of the One Tree Hill Season Finale which I just finished. Now to finish catching up on Army Wives...I was only behind by like two episodes so after this one I'm watching now I have one more...then I have to wait for the hiatus to be over.
• I can't wait for tomorrow to be over. There are so many errands to do it isn't even funny. Tammy and I have to return books and movies to 3 different libraries...Davis County, Weber County and the Air Force base. I have a doctor's appointment at 3:30. I also have to go to Wal-Mart and get some things that I will need for my weekend trip to Mississippi. Namely I need shorts and all that fun stuff.
• I can't wait for this weekend. Thursday is my birthday which I hope nobody remembers and if they do I don't want it to be made into a big deal. In my opinion it is just another day and it will most likely always be that way. But see that's the thing I may be a year older but does anybody ever actually feel older. I know I am a very pessimistic person and if you don't like it I don't care...I won't be changing for you...lol.
• Anyways, Friday afternoon I leave to visit my best friend of all times in Mississippi for the weekend. I am so excited to see his favorite places down there and take lots of pictures. There are two people I really want to see on my birthday and since I can't see one I will settle for this one. I haven't seen Ben in almost 4 years. It is so freaking crazy...but we have kept in contact...in other words I email him once a week and he writes back when he gets the chance. You know how guys are. Anyways, it is the best birthday present I could possibly imagine to see Ben before I leave for Germany and don't see him for another 4 years (I hope that isn't true).
• Well as you can see I had a lot on my mind today and maybe just maybe I will be able to keep up with this blog a lot better. There are times (yes spans of months) when I have nothing of real interest to post. Then there are times when my mind doesn't want to shut up. This is one of those times which will make everybody who actually goes through and reads these happy.

AT LAST!!!!

• Today for the first time in a while I sat down and started writing. I don't know what it was that started me to writing again but it is nice to put pen to paper and put my thoughts down in story form. I will say that I didn't pay as close attention in sacrament as I should have but when ideas come to me I have to get them down on paper. I love the feeling of writing something whether it is interesting or not. I can't wait to get all these crazy thoughts out of my head and get all the stories down on paper.

• I know I haven't done very well keeping this blog up but hopefully that will change. I will maybe start posting some of my poems or stories. You never know what will happen with this blog. So I love I Dream of Jeannie. Jeannie is hilarious...I also love Samantha from BeWitched. Random thought I know but I am watching I Dream of Jeannie right now. Oh the calamities that happen to them.

• Well like I said that is all I have for now but I will try to update more often. Promise!!!!

• So why I didn't post this while everything was fresh in my mind yesterday I don't know...but I didn't so I'm sure I will miss something I wanted to update about...lol. Anyways, there isn't much to say, well there is but not a lot I want to go on about on here. I do want to say that on facebook I keep reading about how everybody is getting so much freaking older and it is making me feel extremely old myself. I mean sure I'm only going to be 26 but it feels really old to me lately and I don't know why. Not that I'm complaining because I'm not...I just wish everybody would stop aging so that I wouldn't feel so old for pete's sake.

• I finally got the last of my paperwork back. I just have to find a computer to scan it into so that I can get it sent off to Tim in Germany and he can finish it all up. That means I should be over there shortly. Which I have my reserves about but I'll deal with them. I may not like it in Germany all that much but I will get over it and make the best of the time I have there. Don't be surprised when 100's of pictures start showing up on Facebook of nothing but cool looking buildings and flowers and suck...lol. But by now everybody who is reading this should know that I am majorly into taking pictures of things I think are cool looking.

• Usually I write something on here about reading a lot or doing a lot of crafts but lately I haven't been into that at all. I did finish Matthew's blanket and did two fleece tie blankets. Now I just have to get them all sent off before I head to Germany. I will most likely send them all off at the beginning of June...to all those who have to wait sorry they are coming.

• So I went to Anthony (my brother in laws) High School Graduation yesterday afternoon. Wow, what a difference from mine. But it kind of took me back to mine and of Mikie's parents as his diploma was handed to them. I almost cried. I was reminded that instead of going to one of the many parties to choose from afterwards Rena and I went to see one of the Fast and the Furious movies (can't remember which one but I think it was Tokyo Drift...lol). Even the colors were similar...we were the Tigers (black and orange...obviously) they were the Warriors (black and red). I got kind of confused because none of them were in alphabetical order...it was all guys on one side and girls on the other in semi alphabetical order. Let's just say it was really really weird. I remember standing on the street outside the Middle School afterwards in search of all my friends for this picture. Jess, Emily, me and Rena were really close Senior Year. It was a year of lots of rides home...lol.
• Anyways, like I was saying before I got on the Graduation rant I haven't been able to get into my crafty, reading, creative moods. I haven't written much of anything, did many crafts (blankets) or read much. I have been getting back into the book reading again recently. It all takes the right book or moment to get in the right frame of mind to do anything. But then again I have been spending a lot of time going to work with Tammy while she was doing Census work. It got me out of the house most days which is always good.

• The next few days are supposed to be really nice so my plan is to be out in the sun as much as possible. Got to get me a slight tan so I don't burn the first time I spend a lot of time in the sun. That would be a pain. I enjoy the sun...especially in the summer when my allergies aren't too bad. Spring is the worst for allergies so I tend to stay inside more often but now it is almost Summer and I am ready for sunshine. The one thing about Utah is it may be Spring but it is still snowing when you least expect it. Not major snow but snow none the less. Oh well Utah is pretty much a lot of mountains so it is understandable.

• Let me just say that I really can't believe this weekend is Memorial Day weekend. Where did the time go. I also can't believe my birthday is a week from tomorrow. Rena's is what Monday, Riley's is Sunday I believe. There are too many birthday's at the end of May and the beginning of June for me to keep track of dates. But HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Kimber, Debbie, Eric, Anthony, Rena, and Riley in May...sorry if it's late. Also in June HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Me, Grandma Mattocks, Mel, Eric, Uncle Greg, Cassie, and Bub. I'm sure I missed people in those birthday lists but if I did and you noticed Happy Birthday to you as well...lol...sorry. Hope everybody has/had a great day on their birthday's. But like I said I think we should ban ages. They are just a number and not important. It is just another day on the calendar in a year that goes by way way too fast.

• Hope you are all happy now...I had to come up with all kinds of crazy stuff for this entry but if it gets everybody off my back about updating whatever...lol...enjoy. More when something interesting happens...sorry.

Killing me softly...

• Well while I was hoping to get this blog updated more often it has been more difficult than usual. Shortly after my last post my laptop up and died on me. So now I am working from Tammy's desktop which means I have to go all the way from the basement to the top floor of the house just to update anything online. It sucks and I tend to forget to update my post by the time I am going back to bed. So that is why it has been so long since I updated. I will do better once I either have a computer of my own again or I get to Germany. Most likely when I get to Germany as I believe it will come first...lol.
• Not much has happened. I have done good at steering clear of people who have been sick and it finally caught up with me. Recently both Anthony and Chels were sick and now Tammy, Andrea, Scott and I seem to have what Chels had. I certainly hope it isn't as bad as her's because she had strep. But we are all sick now. Lucas and Matthew both had RSV a couple weeks ago and are finally feeling better too. Wow, just about everybody has been sick lately.
• Andrea and I finished off the Gilmore Girls series...between the two of us we have all seven seasons. She has 2,3,4,and 5 while I have 1,3,6, and 7. We are going to try and copy them for each other and I have them all on my hard drive. I also bought both seasons of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Now if I could just get seasons 2 through 4 of the show Wildfire and I will have 4 complete TV series. I know there is really no reason to post that because nobody really cares but it popped into my head so I wrote it in.
• Tim is coming home for a visit April 2nd to the 16th. There are already lots of plans. The 3rd we will head to Idaho. The 4th is General Conference and Easter. The 5th is Scott's birthday. The 8th I have my final doctor's appointment. The next weekend we will most likely be going down to the Zion's National Park area for camping and hiking which will sure be lots of fun with my asthma but I will deal with it as best I can. Who knows what else we will fit in there as well.
• I don't think I have much else to talk about right now so I will go and update you soon. Probably after Tim's trip home...or during because I'm sure I will have his laptop while he is home. I'll have lots of time to update after he goes to bed every night...he's one of those people who go to bed by midnight and then there is me who isn't asleep till like 2 or 3 in the morning every day. Till next time...

Developments...

• So I have been going through a lot of crazy moods lately. Last week I went through a creative mood and I am still in that mood kind of. This week I entered a cleaning mood. I spent this morning loading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen. I was going to bake cookies but see there are no clean mixing bowls because well Ann and her friend Heather made a cake on Monday and used both mixers. I had no desire to wash all the pots and pans though so they are still sitting up there. It is kind of weird. I think I am going to start my next blanket...lol.
• There are a few other developments in life however. I am looking into selling Mary Kay soon. I am waiting to hear from a friend with more details about what is going on and if it is possible to sell from Germany. That is the big kicker...she isn't sure if I can sell in Germany if I'm not a Germany citizen.
• I am also looking into colleges again. I am leaning towards University of Maryland University College...which is on the base Tim is located on. I am waiting to get some financial stuff up to date but then I will decide what school I want to go to for sure. I am really excited about that little detail.
• Lastly, I am about to start the Dave Ramsey program again. I have spent a couple days listening to the Dave Ramsey podcast and we are almost caught up on bills (yes they are my bills). I believe there is only one we need to catch up...and then I will be moving over to Germany. But as soon as this last bill is caught up we will be starting the Dave Ramsey program called the Total Money Make-Over. If you want to get out of debt sooner than you would normally this program is for you. No more credit cards for us EVER!!!! I am sticking to that. I am sick of any money we have going mainly towards debts. I can't wait to be debt free. I have actually been working out budgets for the next couple months...so that we can get this final bill caught up.
• So tomorrow I have to make a few calls and see if I can work out some sort of settlement with First Financial. I also have to make a few other calls. I am really excited to start working on this program and starting baby step 1. I also can't wait to to start classes again and possibly start selling Mary Kay. Well I think that is about all I have for today. Later all...

Excitement...

• So the past couple days have been way crazy. I made my first ever tie fleece blankets yesterday. One for Angel and Josh and their new baby girl and the other for Ava Jayne's b-day/christmas present. I would normal sew a blanket for Angel and Josh but I had the extra fleece and honestly it is faster to do those and they will get it before she's born. I am already what three blankets behind and I don't even have the fabric for Simon's blanket. But once I finish the one for Aubrey I am only two behind. I should finish it today or tomorrow and then I will start Lucas/Matthew's blanket. I need a trip to JoAnn Fabrics though because I need fabric for Simon's blanket and fleece for a blanket for Ben...well at least I think that is what I am doing for Ben's birthday present. At least I am in a really crafty mood lately. It will be easier to finish all of these projects that way.
• I also just pre-ordered Ann and my 3 disc editions of Twilight: New Moon. Target rocks...it is the only store you can find any of the 3 disc editions for Twilight. I didn't go and get the overnight shipping but I think we can wait 3 to 5 days. It usually doesn't take that long unless they run out of copies. So maybe I should have done overnight shipping but we'll deal.
• Also, the latest book in the private series rocked. I read it all last night and finished it a little bit ago. I couldn't put it down just like all of the other books in the series. I am going to maybe start another book if I can get into it called The Season. I got lucky and got into Private book let's see if it last.
• Well I am off to start working on the next blanket. That way I can get to the post office next week and ship everything off that needs to go out. At least that's the goal. Which means I also need to finish copying some movies to get that box sent off to Tim...which means I also need to get his birthday present to send that too. Wow...lots to do this next week too. It's nice to have stuff that needs to be done...lol. And I have no idea what to get Tim for his birthday...should be fun.

Feel your eyes cross as you read this...

This week seems so busy but it hasn't been all that busy. It flew by faster than I could have ever imagined. Monday and Tuesday I spent cleaning and organizing my room. Getting two bookshelves added a lot of space to my room and it's amazing. Wednesday Tam, Ann and I went to Orion Jr. High's book fair where I got some good books. Then we went to Wal-Mart where I got the cutest fleece for a blanket for Ava Jayne for a birthday/christmas present. I didn't see her near either of them so I didn't really think about it till now. I still have to find something for Simon for his first birthday next month. Wow, it has already been almost a year. That's crazy!!! Yesterday was laundry day...with my bedding I had like five loads of laundry...it was crazy. Today I am working on finishing the blanket I have been working on for Aubrey Miller (my cousins daughter) and starting Ava Jayne's fleece. I have never made one of the fleece tie ones but it can't be hard can it? Then if I get those out of the way I am going to start on Matthew/Lucas's blanket. It is actually supposed to be for Lucas but since Lucas took Matthew's it will be for Matthew. Then I have two more too make...one for Simon and one for my cousins Angel and Josh's little girl. Wow...I never realized just how much time I spend doing crafts and stuff. I guess I don't usually spend this much time on crafts and sewing but there are an abnormal amount of people I know having kids this past year. There isn't much else to say besides Gossip Girl and Gilmore Girls are awesome. I just realized I totally went off on a tangent and I don't even know why. I really want to make some cookies but we don't have any chocolate chips worth making them with. I am very picky about stuff like that. Maybe I will look up some recipes online. Who knows what tomorrow brings. Update again soon.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and it kind of sucked. I had the worst migraine ever and then Tammy made it worse. I got locked out of my room...Tammy's doing. I spend the rest of the day watching movies...no not horror movies but love stories. Saturday was a pretty good day. The entire family came over and we had a V-Day party. It was fun but loud...hence the migraine yesterday. Oh Tammy and I also went and took the test for a census job at the library. Today everybody went to the environmental center...I still have my migraine...and I have the house mainly to myself. Nick is home but that is about it I think. The last couple days I spent watching movies...well yesterday and today.

• Flicka
• Hannah Montana the Movie
• Julie and Julia
• and I'm currently watching Marley and Me.

I have loved them all. They all have a love theme for Valentine's Day obviously. Flicka and Marley and Me are about love of animals and family. Hannah Montana about the love of family and a place and a passion. Julie and Julia is about the love of cooking which I really enjoyed. I am going to work on reorganizing my room some more today. Babysitting Friday and maybe hanging out with Deb and the kiddo's this weekend.

Crazy...

So I am going to work hard to update this blog at least once a week. So far this week has been kind of crazy. Nothing much happened on Monday (well nothing that I can remember). Tuesday, was slow starting but we had a blast Tuesday night. Maxine, Chelsea and Nick were at an overnight at the environmental center. So the rest of us went out to see The Spy Next Door. It was a good movie...some of the acting was aweful but I would still go see it again. After that we went to Wendy's (Tam and I also went to Taco Bell) for dinner. We made a few other stops before and after that. Tam and I ran into the library before and I picked up my current book Bloodhound by Tamora Pierce. I was going to wait till I got to Germany to read it since I have it there and forgot to grab it before I came back at christmas time. But I couldn't wait anymore so I put it on hold and got it on Tuesday. Yesterday I spent the day watching my two cute little nephews. It was so fun to hang out with them alone. I do prefer being with little kids when there is nobody else around. It is more enjoyable for me. Anyways...most of the time I was there they slept so I got a bit of Bloodhound read. We got home last night and I was tired yet I was up till almost 4 am. I don't know why but I just couldn't fall asleep so I gave up. Today I kind of relaxed. The rest of the week still lays ahead and who knows what will happen. Tonight I will be watching Grey's Anatomy, Supernatural and Vampire Diaries. Eventually I will catch up on House. I only saw like the first six or so episodes of the last season so I haven't even considered watching this season yet. I will also be doing some sewing, writing, reading and cleaning off my hard drive. There is also cleaning and maybe some shopping. Who knows what else? More to come...but for now I'm out.

So I haven't updated my blogs in a while because there hasn't been too much to say. So the last thing I posted about was the wedding back in September. The rest of September was pretty boring...I was sick the last week or so and like two weeks into October. I also did some babysitting for Debbie's munchkins. October...well let's see there was Matthew's baby blessing (oh wait I missed that because I was still sick). So that makes the most interesting thing about October Halloween. This year I went as a zombie cowgirl. The story was that my horse threw me and I smashed my head on a rock. Tammy did some amazing make-up work on me and Andrea. Ann, Manda and I took Lucas and Chelsea around our area so Ann and I got to show off our costumes. It was so much fun. November...well the only major thing I remember about November is Thanksgiving and that wasn't all that major. Just a day of relaxation and fun. I actually fell asleep on Tammy's floor before everybody was gone. Is it sad that, that is the only thing of interest to talk about for November. December...well let's see December is Christmas which I spent in Germany. The flight there was aweful...almost missed my second flight in JFK but it turned out ok because we were delayed by 3 hours because something was wrong with our plane and we had to wait for everything to be switched to a new plane. So I got to Germany at about 1 and didn't get to the base till almost 6. I wanted to crash but had to stay up and eat. Almost the entire first week I was there (Christmas week) I was sick. That includes Christmas day. It wouldn't be the first time. It took some getting used to the Pennsylvania like weather again but it all turned out ok. We went into town a couple times and I got to go to his ward and meet some of the members. January...let's see. I started January still in Germany. Out of the three weeks I was there, there was only one where I did much of anything and that was the middle week because I wasn't sick then. Anyways, I left the 7th to come home and the flight home was no trouble at all. I was so happy to land and come sleep in my own bed. The day after I got back I spent the day with Amanda and Tammy getting ready for Lucas's b-day party. Amanda was nice enough to have it when I got back so that I could be there (his b-day is actually the 7th). What else happened in January...oh right I was diagnosed with asthma. After months of doctor's appointments they finally concluded that I do have asthma. Now we are in February and not much has happened yet. It's only the 6th though so who knows what will come.